Filed under: Random, bullshit | Tags: facebook, make it stop, marriage, squidgy, strange things are afoot, the past is back to haunt me, weird people, wtf?
Weird things have been happening as of late in the realm of people I used to know.
We all know the Facebook story, how people I forgot existed keep showing up.
Two days ago, a former co-worker and friend who had a massive crush on me makes me his Facebook friend and then sends me a “how’s life?” email. I haven’t spoken to him since I was last home (whole different state, 1200 miles away) the Christmas before last because I was sick of him acting like a child. Big long story, but whatever, here he is again.
Yesterday I got an email out of the blue from a girl I met at a summer job in 1998. She was dating the guy I was in love with, so I figured if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. We were the best of friends for about a year and a half, even after they broke up, until some weird things happened. We were still friendly, but not as close. I haven’t spoken to her in probably five years. Yet here’s an email – “My husband and I were just in your hometown and I was looking for you! How are you?!”
Then there’s this girl who was my senior year college roommate. She was a horrible bitch and I don’t much like her, but she keeps adding me as a friend on things and I can’t help but feel it would be too petty to deny her. Still, we haven’t talked since our friend’s wedding in 2002 (divorced now, btw). Well, she got married herself a couple weeks back and doesn’t she want the world to know it. She changed her status to married on Facebook as soon as the ceremony was over.
Well, I am going back to my parent’s house next week and I changed my Facebook status to say something of the like, warning people that I’m returning. Then I get a message from her that says “When are you coming back?! Maybe my husband and I could make it more fun!”
WTF? Now that you’re married you can talk to me again? Need to rub it in a little more? Is this “let’s all remind Stella that she’s still fucking single” week? Where are all you people coming from?
This is really throwing me off, kind of creeping me out. Ok, if one of them contacted me, it’d be weird, but not off the charts. This is getting a little out of hand. I’m almost afraid to check my email to see who is going to be next…
* This is a word that I made up (maybe?) to describe the texture of mushrooms. I have texture problems when it comes to food. But I’ve decided it can now apply to other things as well. Things that just don’t settle well, seem just slightly off. Like this entire week.
I’m quickly becoming more popular on Facebook than I’ve ever been in my real life. It’s getting out of hand. I friended a couple people I knew in high school and continued to be casually acquainted with afterwards, and all of a sudden every one I went to high school with wants to be my friend. I’m getting requests from people I completely forgot existed. I go in and read their friends lists and I can do nothing but howl with laughter at the list of names.
I fear that it’s only a matter of time before my first boyfriend finds me. That’s going to be awkward, and let me tell you why. Recently, my mother happened upon some relative of his (as will happen in Podunk, USA) who said he’s married with two kids and living far away from where we grew up. The fun part was when my mother learned that he’d named his two children the same exact thing that she had. Meaning that his two kids have my name and my brother’s name. And you can talk about coincidences until you’re blue in the face, but that creeps me the fuck out.
Also – I happened across a guy I knew in college. A guy all my girlfriends went mad for. I never saw it. Even after he shagged a couple of my friends, I knew there was something off. Yeah, he’s in a relationship with someone named Charles. I win.
Facebook is an odd duck.
I like it well enough. Compared to MySpace, it’s a godsend. I can’t stand MySpace.
The “People You Might Know” tool is highly amusing. People I barely knew a decade ago keep popping up and I have a little laugh or I wrack my brain trying to figure out who they are. The thing is, I generally don’t feel the need to make these people my friends. The Venezuelan exchange student from my senior year in high school? The post college roommate of a person I used to go to concerts with but now barely speak to? I knew these people once upon a time but I didn’t even consider them my friends then, why would I now?
So it’s funny when random people friend me. Last week a girl I went to high school with made me her friend. We weren’t friends in high school. I knew her, but we were acquaintances at best. I haven’t spoken to her since the day we graduated. Hell, probably since months before then.
Today, I got an email saying that my college roommate’s high school boyfriend made me his friend. I met him once, for maybe a half hour. Granted, later I shagged the guy that was his roommate at the time, but Christ, that was 9 years ago and I don’t even remember the roommate’s name.
I find this perversely hilarious. Why the hell does this guy want to be my friend? What motive could he possibly have? To be honest, it kind of makes me want to turn into a Facebook stalker and learn all about him. Even though, unless he’s dramatically changed his life in the past 8 years, I already know he’s a waste of space jackass. I don’t foresee any dramatic changes.
Facebook is blocked at work, which makes me terribly sad. I’m going to be chomping at the bit to log in and figure this out. And to send my friend a message telling her this spaz friended me so she can have a good groan about it.
