Filed under: Dating | Tags: match, please god tell me you're kidding, ridiculous
I got an email from Match this morning, “so and so with the cheesy ass user name winked at you.” I’m trying a new thing where I at least read through people’s profiles before I dismiss them, so I clicked on the link.
Yeah, needn’t bother. Dude’s all glamor shotted up, wearing gold chains and a Cosby sweater. No discernible education to be found in profile paragraphs. Deleted.
Then I get an email from him. This is verbatim.
i see you looked at my profile but i just wanted to tell you i will be in (town) in bout a week and i was looking for a friend to hang out with and to have fun i visit there bout 3times a year and thinking bout moving there i would really like to talk to you if i interest you my name is (redacted)
Honestly? The English language has this cool thing now, it’s called punctuation, you should try it out. Capital letters are kind of neat too.
If I remember correctly, I have a bit in my profile about how I’m keen on grammar and spelling, being an editor and all, but apparently people don’t get the subtlety. I’m going to have to go back in and change my profile to read: If you can’t bother with grammar, I can’t bother with you.
Well, OK, the date wasn’t all bad. But I don’t see any progression. He might become a friend, but there’s no romantic potential. He was cute, in that rocker boy kind of way, the way that I would have shagged for fun about a decade ago. I’ll probably call him up for some concert going action, but that’ll be the only action I foresee from him. I mean, I dig that you’re a musician and all, but there’s only so much a girl can talk about soundboards.
No luck in locating the friend of a friend though. Pity. He moves to China next week, which means he’s obviously perfect for me, so I can’t have him. I only ever want the ones that I can’t have. WTF is up with that? Do I call the friend to get his number before he leaves? What do I say about that? Yeah…can I have M’s number? We spoke for 10 minutes, yet I have a question for him before he leaves for China…
I’m no good at this, man
