Dear Old Guy who messaged me on Match,
I am worried that you don’t actually know how to read.
They offer you an age range for a reason. I mean, sure, I like older men and all, but over 20 years is too many. If you are, in fact, old enough to have spawned me, that’s a dealbreaker.
When you live 300 miles away, but list my town as a favorite travel destination, do you know what that says to me? It says you’re looking for a hot young thing to shag on your vacation. While I know I should be flattered, I’m really not. The very thought nauseates me.
Also, professing your love for the Lord Jesus Christ in your profile leads me to believe that you’re a touch on the religious side. The word “agnostic” on my profile should lead you to believe that I’m not so hot on Christ. I’ll fill you in right now, agnostic is putting it lightly. The only reason I didn’t put “atheist” is because I believe that there’s some sort of guiding force out there, I’m just not sure what it is. But I know that is sure as hell is not Catholic.
I understand that maybe you’re desperate, that on-line dating sucks donkey balls and you’re not finding the right woman. But darlin’, I’m not her either. So leave me the fuck alone.
Thanks!
