One thing I’ve learned as a woman is how to lie pretty easily when it comes to being accosted by creepy dudes.
So when a random 60 year old Polish guy sidles up in the grocery store and opens with my post title, I’m fully prepared.
It always comes as an amusing surprise to me just what the story will be. This time, apparently, my name is Sarah, I’m from Kansas and I work in marketing. Don’t I sound wholesome?
I have known three men in my life who have been severely averse to body hair. I find this fascinating.
The first was a guy I knew in college. He was a cyclist, professionally, so he could write it off as beneficial to his sport, but he would freely admit that even if it weren’t for the cycling, he wouldn’t have any hair. He was clean as a whistle, no hair on his legs, arms, back, chest. Hardly any on his head as he kept it very closely shaven.
Another was a guy I used to work with. He had hair on his head, past his ears, but he hated it everywhere else. He said he would shave his legs in a heartbeat if his wife would let him.
The third, and the only one I was ever intimate with, would occasionally get his back and chest waxed, but only when he felt like it or could get around to it. He claimed he would shave his legs too if it wasn’t such a societal no-no.
Now, I can understand that some men are more hairy than most, and that an excess of body hair can be a bit of a turn off. But none of these men was particularly hairy. The last, which I know the best, obviously, didn’t have any more hair on him than the next guy. Not so much that I even noticed, to be honest.
And I’ve never really known any women who were completely anti-body hair. Not as much as these men. I find that odd. Me, I don’t mind a little hair, providing a guy isn’t Sasquatch. It reminds me that I am, in fact, screwing a guy. Maybe it equates to the concept that women like their men rugged.
Take for instance, Hugh Jackman. When he’s all clean shaven and dainty, he freaks me out. I don’t think he’s attractive at all. But get him dirty and hairy, a la Wolverine, or his part in “Australia” and he becomes sexy as hell.
Then again, I really don’t like men with facial hair to date. It’s scratchy. I’m dainty. But he sure is pretty to look at.
Anyway! Back to my original thought. Do I know weird men or is this phenomenon more common that I would expect?
I’m quickly becoming more popular on Facebook than I’ve ever been in my real life. It’s getting out of hand. I friended a couple people I knew in high school and continued to be casually acquainted with afterwards, and all of a sudden every one I went to high school with wants to be my friend. I’m getting requests from people I completely forgot existed. I go in and read their friends lists and I can do nothing but howl with laughter at the list of names.
I fear that it’s only a matter of time before my first boyfriend finds me. That’s going to be awkward, and let me tell you why. Recently, my mother happened upon some relative of his (as will happen in Podunk, USA) who said he’s married with two kids and living far away from where we grew up. The fun part was when my mother learned that he’d named his two children the same exact thing that she had. Meaning that his two kids have my name and my brother’s name. And you can talk about coincidences until you’re blue in the face, but that creeps me the fuck out.
Also – I happened across a guy I knew in college. A guy all my girlfriends went mad for. I never saw it. Even after he shagged a couple of my friends, I knew there was something off. Yeah, he’s in a relationship with someone named Charles. I win.
Facebook is an odd duck.
I like it well enough. Compared to MySpace, it’s a godsend. I can’t stand MySpace.
The “People You Might Know” tool is highly amusing. People I barely knew a decade ago keep popping up and I have a little laugh or I wrack my brain trying to figure out who they are. The thing is, I generally don’t feel the need to make these people my friends. The Venezuelan exchange student from my senior year in high school? The post college roommate of a person I used to go to concerts with but now barely speak to? I knew these people once upon a time but I didn’t even consider them my friends then, why would I now?
So it’s funny when random people friend me. Last week a girl I went to high school with made me her friend. We weren’t friends in high school. I knew her, but we were acquaintances at best. I haven’t spoken to her since the day we graduated. Hell, probably since months before then.
Today, I got an email saying that my college roommate’s high school boyfriend made me his friend. I met him once, for maybe a half hour. Granted, later I shagged the guy that was his roommate at the time, but Christ, that was 9 years ago and I don’t even remember the roommate’s name.
I find this perversely hilarious. Why the hell does this guy want to be my friend? What motive could he possibly have? To be honest, it kind of makes me want to turn into a Facebook stalker and learn all about him. Even though, unless he’s dramatically changed his life in the past 8 years, I already know he’s a waste of space jackass. I don’t foresee any dramatic changes.
Facebook is blocked at work, which makes me terribly sad. I’m going to be chomping at the bit to log in and figure this out. And to send my friend a message telling her this spaz friended me so she can have a good groan about it.
